I'm not Barbie!!!

Why are there people in this world who think I am a Barbie Doll?? When they first get me I am the best thing ever and then they play with me use me and throw me in a pile with all of their other crap and expect me to act like nothing is wrong a months later when they decide they want to play with me again... That because they have a house for me and clothes they want for me to wear I am supposed to be happy towards them no matter what...When they decide to pick me up out of their pile of crap I am supposed to be so happy to see them and act like they are the perfect person to me that I cannot live without them moving my legs to make me walk or telling me what to say to them or others...I AM NOT FRICKIN BARBIE!!!!!!!!

Yes I am a grown woman, and yes my scream does sound like a 5 year old girls!

Do you see that critter just above these words????? Well I had one scare the holy living CRAP out of me!!!!!!!!!!!! So I thought I would share the story!!!

Last night after everyone in my house was sleeping, and I was finished "nerding out," I figured I would go do my horible habit (smoking) before bed. Now since I had nobody to talk to I picked up the latest book I was reading off the ground in front of my couch. I went outside, holding my page in the book with just a finger. I lit my cancer stick and preceeded to sit back in my rocking chair and relax. I opened my book, took a drag, AND OH MY GOD THERE WAS A SCORPION CRAWLING ON THE BOOK!!!!!!!! So I did what every normal person would do, I screamed in a very high pitched manner and threw the book!!! Then I ran inside to grab my husband's flashlight, totally forgetting that shoes might be a good idea, and went back outside to serve up a death sentence.  Realizing I forgot shoes, I had no way to kill the nasty littlt bugger. So I did the next best thing, I grabbed the heavy 1 ton floor jack that was sitting to the patio. As I tried to run over that, that thing HE STARTED RUNNING AROUND!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know they could move that fast!!!!! Yes, another quick shriek escaped my lips! So... there I was holding a flashlight with my shoulder and using both hands to try and steer this jack. I imaging I looked like a flippin lunatic! I finally smooshed the "thing" and I admit it I did the whole "YES!!" movement with my arms. I went inside still holding onto the flashlight and woke the husband to go to bed. In his very groggy state I briefly told him about the scorpion and how I was sceered!!! So here we are the next day and I am happy to report the exterminator will be poisoning all the bugs on this property tomorrow afternoon!!!!!

Tired of faking Happy!!!

Do you ever get tired of having to fake happy? Are you the person that seems to always be expected to have a smile permanently stuck on your face? Me to and gosh darn it I AM SICK OF IT!!!! Me normally OK I am one of those happy ish people, but for goodness sakes I have those days and many of them where I just don't want to smile, you know when I am in a sad, mad or angry mood. Now the problem is I have like you may have to is that for some reason people think that my smile is supposed to be there no matter what. They are wrong. It is weird I just cant wrap my head around the fact that people think some people always have to be happy or even fake happy. I have had that said to me before, can you just fake happy so people don't think something is wrong? This made me laugh then get angry, who has the right to tell me that I have to at least fake the happy to make them and others around me think nothing is wrong. Holy crap ! It is OK for me to have something crappy going on in my life and I don't care who knows about it. I think it is so stupid some people are so stupid. Something I have started doing that makes me feel a bit better at the time is by saying this.... Hi my name is ... and I am Angry today!!!! I know it seems silly but it works so try it sometime.

I'm Tired!!!

Can someone out there please tell me why moms are made to feel bad for saying we are tired? Are we not allowed to be tired, with everything we do in a day are we not justified being tired? For example...  mom does her normal day,(taking care if the kids the house the husband the animals....) then after getting the kids to bed and the kitchen cleaned up from supper wants to sit down and take a minute for herself (HA HA HA) her husband comes up to her and asks can we spend some time together? The wife/mom says sure do you want to watch a movie or something like play cards? The husband says no thats not waht I mean....so the wife/mom says ok but I am tired. THe husband replies...that figures your always tired when are you not going to be tired? THe wife/mom replies well maybe when I dont have to do everything myself! The husband says nothing! So you have an example can you please tell me why it is not expected for moms to be worn out to be tired to need a break to get out of the house without the kids?!?! When we say I have to run and get milk I will be right back and she gets the question well can I come why dont we all go as a family? REALLY I can't run and get milk without the kids why am I not allowed to leave this house alone!!! Do husbands not understand that for many moms the only alone time we get is when we can run to pick up the milk or the toilet paper? Wow what exciting lives we live!!!! Is it to much to ask for us to get a minute alone or God forbid a couple hours or shall I say it a DAY?!?!? Yes many of us may not have kids at home during the day but it is not like we are stting on our butts watching tv the whole day its not like we are not doing the laundry or mopping or a favorite cleaning the toilets! So why are we treated less than? Many husbands have their sports they watch normally alone so the kids or wives dont bother them, or on their way home from work they stop by and see a friend. Which is all fine but why can we not to the same. Oh and the talking on the phone thing.... Yes I am on the phone longer than my husband and more often than him as well, but when am I supposed to have to time to go see these people? If I cannot see people I need to be able to talk to them... and for me and my bestest friend ever we have a bigger problem, we live 4 states away from eachother so its not like we can do our shopping together or take the kids to the park together... so we talk on the phone, and yes it is different than talking to your husband...I believe women need atleast one women friend to talk to, to share their worries with to share there frustrations with. If we atleast have just that one person our lives can be a bit happier. So men when your wife or girlfriend says I am tired dont come down her for it, maybe see what you can do to help to make her less tired. Does she not do this for you? Making your meals washing your clothes.....

More rantings from a mom who has had ENOUGH!

In life there are some who have it easy and then there are the rest of us... I know bla bla bla another mom complaining how bad her life is and how hard she has it. Before I continue I must state that if my or any other husband or man says well trade jobs with me you have it easy, I say to them Bite me!!! Now that is out of the way, Many moms are stay at home moms or work part time outside of the home. On top of our 24 hour job of being a mom and wife, we then leave the home to try to help pay bills. So when our husbands tell us you dont need to worry about the bills or money I worry about that, it makes us want to scream!!! Really Really?!?!? I am not supposed to worry about how we are going to pay the bills and if we have the money for groceries, or God forbid worry about having rent money!!! This is so Stupid! I know it is not nice or whatever to say something is stupid but seriously IT IS SO STUPID!!!!! We worry! We stress! We cry! It is not us being mean or feeling sorry for ourselves, this is us feeling and let me tell you it is ok for us to feel, again if you dont agree I say Bite Me! Now let me set the record straight we worry alot but thats just how we are programed. So acceot it deal with it and lets move on. I know there might be some stay at home dads who understand and I give it to you it is hard to do what we do. I think for me the hardest thing to here from my husband is "ok you think I have it easy you go to work I will stay at home, you worry about the bills, you worry about money for groceries, and I will clean and make sure the kids get to school" it is so easy for someone to think what we do is easy, that all we do is take the kids to school and go home and clean a little and relax. I guess they forget the getting up early getting the kids breakfast getting them ready for school taking them to school, coming home and cleaning the house, going to the grocery store so you have food to eat, coming back home putting up the groceries, picking the kids back up from school, giving the kids a snack, helping them with their homework, taking them to their after school activities, making supper, feeding everyone supper, spending time with our husbands, getting the kids in and out of the shower, getting them ready for bed, making sure they have brushed their teeth, and then tucking them in, cleaning up the kitchen from supper, feeding the pets, spending time with the husband take a shower, spend more time with the husband, and finally trying to get some sleep. 4 hours later we wake up and do it all again!!!! This list can be longer. Crazy right? Now I dont know if anyone else noticed this but Never was their time for mom to be herself, time where we are not doing anything for anyone else. So we can have those bad days and it is ok, and please dont ask us if we are mad at you everytime we are having a bad day! 6 out of 10 times we are probably mad at you but the other 4 times it is one of the other 10million things going on in my life!!!!!

I Hate My.....

As a stay at home mom of three kids I have noticed something....now this is not something i just noticed. It is something I have being seeing in myself for a while....I HATE MY BODY!!!! I know I know many women out there hate their bodies too, so maybe you can relate. Now my kids are getting older and they are always doing something, which means so am I. I take them swimming, this makes me hate my body even more...I take them to the park, and their sport events, I even jump on the trampoline with them, yes this makes me hate my body even more. I see women who are naturally shaped well even after having kids and doing nothing, this makes me hate my body even more, I see the women who have the discipline to workout (I am so jealous of them) and this makes me hate my body even more. Get the point if not you never will. Now my husband says he loves me the way I am....in my head I hear I love you no matter how chubby you get. Which is great and all and I love him for it but what I don't think guys get is that I DON'T LIKE MY BODY!!!! and guess what guys it is OK for you to tell us you like us the way we are but our opinion of ourselves matters too!!!! So, I am determined to like my body at least a little more than I do now. Now I don't want to be a stick I am a women and darn it I am going to look like one!!! I don't want to be able to share my daughters clothes or even wear a bikini (I am way to white for that). I just want to feel good for me. So here is what I have been trying...eating lots of fruits RAW, not out of a can. Eating less of what I would normally eat this means chocolate, and this is the hardest one for me I love chocolate. I have gotten a bit smaller which has made me feel better, but I still see the big me in the mirror. I am sticking with the fruits and hope to be happier and happier, now the way I know I need to stop is when my bra gets to big on me...When the girls start getting smaller I am done. Again I don't want to be a stick or look like a teenage boy! So wish me luck and to all out there going through the same thing I understand!!! You are in no means alone, if you don't believe me take a poll go up to as many moms as you know and ask them honestly do you like your body? You may be surprised to see how many of us there are...

Summer Water Fun

Now that summer vacation is here, I try to get my kids to play outside. Where I live it is HOT!!!! So to make it a little more bearable I let the kids play in the water. Makes sense right!?!?! I would generally have absolutely no problem letting them have a hay day with it, but I do have two small issues. First, water is expensive! Water, ya know the stuff that covers 75% of the planet!!! In the summer I end up with a water bill that is almost as high as my freakin electric bill, and I run my AC nonstop!!!!!!!!!! But I like that they actually will go outside to play, no scratch that I NEED them going outside to play!! Second, because I live in the desert, I have no grass. So where most would not have a problem letting there kids water their yard, I get a monster sized mud pit for a backyard. And its some sticky stuff!! My kids will wear it like its sunblock! Everything covered in mud, and they want to come into my nicely cleaned house!!!!!! After about 3 complete meltdowns, they do know, NOW, they must rinse off before coming in, but apparently I didn't say anything about drying off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!